Passive Aggresive Co-worker Tactics

This past year at work there has been an old bastard trying to weasel his way in good with the owner of the business that I work at. He tries to give unneeded advice and comments that are pointless in their obviousness, even more irritating is how often he repeats them. Phrases like "We want this farm's business" (Duh, we want everyone's business), or "We sure need the rain" (No shit, is there a summer that we don't need rain).




"The Scenial One" gives the illusion of being a nice old guy, but nobody that actually has to work alongside him can stand him. He tries to bribe us, like a childmolester driving a van with tinted windows, with his day old donuts. I eat them in spite... It wins him no favor with me, for I see the demon that lurks beneath his wrinkled flesh. I have no wish to climb in that van for the puppy...


.... Now to the part that really bugs me....


He likes to get in his little digs here and there, but I make it through them undaunted, like the spartans in the movie "300" in the Persian arrow volley. He'll use little phrases like "Feeling hungover today?" or something similar in front of the owner to try to make me look bad while trying to make it look like he's just kidding with me...


At first I let him get in his pot shots, but then I figured out what he was doing and learned how to play the game better than he. Old people are cunning, but I am the snake charmer, I play my flute and hypnotise them...


So now I counter with phrases like "How's the prostate today?", or "Scare any pedestrians with the company truck today?", "What took you so long, stop by the bar on the way back AGAIN?!" Fighting fire with fire is a great time. They say eventually it leaves everyone burnt, but I'm a stone castle and he is the piglet's straw house.


Learn from my ways, they will help you eliminate any "would-be" competition at work...