Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Jenkem, Drug Of Choice For Environmentalists!

Yesterday, during a rather slow day of work, I was seeking to become better informed in the changing times of this busy world and found a brilliant ray of hope for the future of drug use.

This beacon is a new drug called "Jenkem" but also goes by other names such as "Butthash" and "Fruit from Crack Pipe." It's apparently an age old hallucinagen from Africa. Butt (pun intended) the best part of this drug is that it is made from fermenting human excrement! Just think of the possibilities! A $7 trip to a buffet will not only fill you up, but also become a cheap source of fuel in your body's own self contained Jenkem lab!
I know there are lots of organic do gooders out there that would love to do drugs if only they were environmentally safe. Problem solved! Just go eat your favorite organic meal and bingo! It's just a matter of time before your Jenkem is complete! (If you truly cannot wait I recommend almost any foreign food as the results seem to be almost immediate.)

I think environmentalists would be actively trying to pursure drug users of all sorts to this "all natural containment of greenhouse gases." Meth involves a lot of toxic chemicals to produce. Even the Marijuana plant consumes lots of petroleum based fertilizers. Jenkem is the obvious choice!

Concerning my own greedy nature I saw the possibility of an immediate cash flow juggernaut! I usually only go to the bathroom for a #2 every other day at the most, so my excrement should be unusually potent for this. Now is just a matter of eating, expelling, and bagging enough to keep up with demand!


Perhaps the only disheartening thing I found in this article was the fact that this drug is an inhalant and the poor boy in the picture appears to be drinking his "Butthash" through a straw, but I suppose everybody has a learning curve. I guess it could be good, it does look a bit like a chocolte malt...

1 comment:

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i'm going to start crapping in a bottle to save it for you so you have plenty of "butthash"