Here I am a 28 year old single swingin' bachelor. To the up and coming bachelors I figured I would show you the ropes on basic survival methods needed to live this long while living an exotic life.
1. Listerine seems to work as good as Bactine or Hydrogen Peroxide at cleaning wounds. You pour it on, it fizzles, so it must be working.
2. Composting is a powerful tool, especially as far as household cleaning goes. Dirty dishes if left long enough will eventually self cleanse due to the breakdown of food particles. If someone complains tell them you are conserving water for the needy kids of Africa...
3. If expecting to eat leftovers for several days of the same food, you can refrigerate your used plate for the next meal without any ill side-effects.
4. If your already worn clothes don't pass the smell test, apply cologne, and check again. Repeat until you're satisfied...
5. Cleanliness is over-rated, thanks to filth I have immense immunities. People are fearing the Super Staff bacteria that is no longer killed by anti0biotics. The cure resides in my veins...
6. Women and bees can smell fear, so work on your poker face.
7. If you have hot water included in your rent but have electric heat that is not included, you can fill your tubs and sinks with hot water and invest in a fan to circulate the warmth.
Seven is an age old number celebrated in many societies, so I think I will stop there. If you any golden tips to share feel free to post 'em!
3 comments:
this explains why your apartment smells rancid
Not quite like the "composting" between you legs!!!
I think you and Tequila should hook up! :o)
Speaking of Tequila..she sent me this way.
Seeing you both have an odor problem then I'll make sure to keep a can of Lysol handy when visiting.
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