I knew it was going to be a good night based on the vomit puddles on Hennepin Ave. right in the heart of Uptown. One puddle is usually accompanied by a black-out-drunk bum; but this night there were 3 puddles! By the looks of poorly chewed food 2 of the puddles could be attributed to the same binge-eating and drinking soul. (I should be on CSI with these detective skills) But the other puddle had to be from someone else.
All of this action within the same block! The first mass vomiting I had ever come across in Uptown!
Positives of Halloween:
+Higher percentage of attractive women dressed up exposing more skin than usual!
+A chance to experiment with some kinky role-playing with being thought of as weird!
+Opportunity to murder someone you don't like and pass it off as a cult sacrifice!
+If you can't score any hot ass- if you bag a fat chick that has the costume of a 10/10 on the hotness scale you get credit for the 10 even though the fatty may only be a 3! Go Barbie doll!
+You can vomit into a carved out pumpkin, watch the vomit pour out of its mouth and blame it on the Jack-o-lantern for ruining the party.
Negatives of Halloween:
-Higher percentage of very unattractive roaming-buffalo women wearing exposing more skin than the law should permit.
-If drunk you may not notice that the fairy you're planning and taking home is actually packing a sausage-rocket under that skirt! @===8 (Check for facial stubble and Adam's apple)
-The fat chick in a hot costume returns back to its hog-self at midnight Cinderella so be conscious of the clock!
1 comment:
i actually have vomited in a jack o lantern. it thought it would put out the flame on the candle, but because of the high acidic content of my vomit, it made it burn brighter and have a mini explosion. puke pyrotechnics.
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