Today at work my co-worker minion, a 70 year old fart, was talking with another older man in the same "knock, knock, knocking on coffins door" stage of life. The worst and most ironic part of it all was they were talking about their hearing aids. It's as ironic as bulimics with chubby cheeks, but not quite as cool or trendy...
What a waste of batteries! Talking about your hearing aid. What is even the point of having a hearing aid anyways? By the time you're decrepidly old you've pretty much heard everything anyways! All you can talk about your dietary blend of pills that keep you alive...
The worst part is now they can hear the Grim Reaper coming. I wish at times when he crossed the road he would get run over by a car. Now, thanks to his fucking Miracle Ear chances are he'll hear the motorcade of death. Shitty.
Lucky for me I can still bang on loud pieces of metal (with MY ear plugs in) and create such a ruckus that it will drive the codger with his bionic ear to new levels of deafness! So eventually he will have to have such a large amplified hearing aid the weight may break his withering neck.
2 comments:
HAHAHHAHA MOTORCADE OF DEATH!!!!
this is seriously fanfuckintastic. let me know when his neck snaps!
There's more than one way to snap a withering old neck.
Otherwise, have you ever considered replacing those batteries with something that fakes the sounds of the outside world?
He'll think that Motorcade of Death is just the sweet sound of children running up to greet him, or something.
Anyways, just tryin' to help ya out here...
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