George Foreman and The Death of the Burger

Last night I decided to cook in my apartment for the first time in forever to curb my 4 month spending spree on eating out which has taken its toll on my checking account. (Largely due to serial dating) So I broke out my George Foreman grill that I received as a gift and decided to make some of my delicious cajun burgers.

So I made my pattys with my secret ingredients (Cajun spice and dirty fingernails, which are all clean now!) and plopped 'em in the Foreman Grill and closed the lid. Within minutes the apartment was filled with the delicious aroma similar to an animal sacrifice in cajun country and I began to lick my chops in anticipation.

After a few minutes of grilling I removed my burgers, waited for one to cool and took a bite... and I was in awe. However it was not in a good way, the Foreman Grill had removed all the fat and a long with it any flavor that made a burger, a burger! I was totally depressed with what George's contraption had done to my infamous greaseburger! It tasted similar to a ground animal that had been jerkified on I-94's shoulder for a month, except no crow would peck at this.

The answer was quick and simple. I plunged my dehydrated patties back into the fat collection at the bottom of the Foreman Grill. It quickly rejuvenated the flavor back into the burger and made them once again delicious. Thank God!

My boss has always told me only stupid white people throw out good fat. Now I have to ad to the list. Stupid white people and George Foreman. He must have created this in his haze after Evander Holyfield punched his brains out. What a mad-man!

How could anyone trust a kitchen appliance from a man that named all his sons George?!